noun the quality of being able to adjust to new conditions. People aren't new conditions; however, people do bring with them conditions, and circumstances.
Some Back Story
My last post I wrote about being adaptable to other people, and it got a few people talking and asking questions about being adaptable to other people, and how it could lead to being two faced.
Going a little further back, I've been intrigued with the idea of being adaptable since I took a personality test (or two), and they came up saying roughly the same thing each time. My top two traits are empathy, and adaptability. Depending on the test I take, and probably my feelings toward said testing, these two traits are either one or two on the list each time.
So basically I understand people's feelings, and I am highly adaptive to change. We will cover empathy later; because right now we are going to concentrate on being adaptable.
What is Adaptability, and how do I use it?
Adaptability is the quality of being able to adjust to new circumstances. That is the definition of the word.
Being adaptable isn't really difficult so long as you accept the fact that things change and change frequently. Life is all about change, if it isn't changing you probably aren't growing as a person or a leader.
And yes you are leader.
The highest of all human abilities is the ability each of us has to choose how we respond to the environment we find our selves within.
- Robin Sharma
Being adaptable isn't just about adapting to new circumstances, it is also about adapting to people. Some people call this mirroring, mimicking, or copying. Whatever you call it, it is adapting to others behaviors and mannerisms. Now I am not saying copy every move, and action; however you do want to match them to some degree. If you are talking with a person who talks a lot faster than other people than you will want to up the tempo of your speech a bit so they maintain focus on the conversation.
Now the tricky part in adapting to other people is not becoming to faced, and losing yourself to others actions, and behaviors. One of the best ways of doing this is to know yourself and what values you hold dear to yourself. Set out those values, and stick them no matter what.
One of the easiest things to do is not fall into the gossip trap. Gossip can be toxic, and if you are gossiping about others know they are probably gossiping about you as well. These are situations you don't have adapt to and should walk away from.
When you are trying to assist someone who has come to you for help then this is a perfect time adapt to the person. If they are sad be sad with them, if they are excited share in their excitement. If you are a sales person than adapting to your client in front of you is a good method to understand what they are looking for. The faster and more accurate you can do this the better rapport, and the more likable you will be which will garner you more trust.
The mistake I see a lot of the time is people are always trying to have others adapt to them and not the other way around. If we adapt ourselves to those around us we will see the world in a different light, and develop more understanding. You can't change others, especially to suit you, the best you can do is adapt yourself to others and show them that you are interested and care about them.
No, this is manipulative at all. You are doing this from the heart, and for the best interest of the person across from you. Yes there could be others doing this for their own gain, and it is up to you and your gut feeling as to how this person is treating you. One tell tale sign I've seen, and heard is people matching each move almost right on cue, and using words that they didn't use to the person before them. What this can mean is they are not sincere, and don't have your best interest at heart.
With words you can match them to the person, or people you are with; however, they still have to match to what you would say to some else. The meaning behind the words has to be same no matter the style of speech that has been used. Your message has to be on par with the values you have set out for yourself, and should not deviate. If you have to use higher level words with one group, and bring it down for another this is fine so long as you are not condescending, or belittling anyone with how you are talking.
Ultimately this all comes down to a fine balance like most things. Trust me you are going to screw this up, and feel like an ass at points, but so long as you reflect, and iterate on becoming better you will master adaptability in no time at all.
Just remember people, circumstance, and things change, and the ones who are the most adaptable survive.
Ride Hard, and Live Long
It's been my pleasure to write this for you.
Sincerely,
Rob
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