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Writer's pictureRob Hicks
Feb 10, 20204 min read

Pain and Frustration

What do you do when you’re in pain or frustrated? What causes pain and frustration?

Some Back Story

I've never been good with frustration.


When I experience frustration I experience quite a few different feelings that aren’t used in a positive way. Sadly I have a tendency to lash out at those closest to me. I’m not proud of it.


This article isn’t so much for you but it is for me to work through any pains I have with frustration and hopefully, as I work through it you can find something that helps you as well. This is more of a digital journal entry for myself to be able to work through what I’m feeling and have some feedback.



Struggling

There is no gain without pain. What is it when you struggle? Because you aren’t suffering for your art either.


So what are you getting with struggling? Pain and frustration! It’s not really the pain you're gaining from as it brings frustration with it which can cloud your judgement. I know it clouds mine and allows my angry side to show a lot more. As a matter of fact, I would say the anger feeds off the frustration.


Truthfully looking at it a little more deeply now I would say that they have a symbiotic relationship one feeds the other and vice-a-versa. Together anger and frustration form a parasite of sorts that feeds of me and leaves me drained out, feeling low, and not sure what to do with myself. It causes me to want to quit on my goals in life and stop putting effort in. Which leads me to struggle more as now I am struggling to reign in emotions, capping my unproductive patterns, and trying to work through it all and break free.


Unlike just being angry where I can channel it this seems to have a different feel to it and a bit more of a mind of its own. I'm not too sure if others have the same feeling from the frustration but I know I do and it is very difficult to keep under wraps.


Inside Forces vs Outside Forces

Pain and frustration can come from within and from outside. They work separately and sometimes can tag team you as well.


Outside forces are typically things you can't control like other people and their reactions, and actions which can cause you frustration. Being passed over for a promotion, or being denied a raised even though you've put in the time effort to be amazing at what you do. These are things outside of your control.


Inside forces are things that you can control. Like putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. Being a perfectionist, and not letting yourself take breaks when needed in the effort to be more productive. You can control these things and if not on your own you can get help to get control over them.



Now when the inside forces and outside forces team up for a handicap match against you it can be an all-out war. For me when outside forces work in conjunction with my inside forces of frustration it takes tons of effort on my part to not completely lose my shit and go ballistic.


If I am already pushing myself harder and beating myself up because things aren't going quite as according to plan as they should be, and then some outside force comes along and tags in to beat me up some more; I go crazy playing scenarios, and ideas out in my head and trying to rationalize the thought patterns and what is next. I get stuck in the moment and can't see out of it.


Once I am stuck in the moment and can't see beyond it I am pretty screwed or feeling pretty screwed at that point anyway. I am not sure which to turn and how to take care of what is happening and trying not to make a rash decision in the meantime. Some times it takes either days or weeks to get through it all.


With being on, for what feels like 24/7, and not having time to myself I find that I am not able to take the time to think through everything. Once I am able to take some quiet time and sit and relax I can usually think through most issues rationally. I've also set up a few trusted advisors as well to help me get through things and think it all through.



Getting through the Frustration

I've learned as much as I want to fix my issues on my own you have to reach out for help.


Like I was saying I have developed a core group of people to help me work through some of the frustration and pain to figure out what I am looking to do and not make a rash decision but a calm and cool decision. With this having the quietness to ponder things as well does help and adds to the complete rational thinking process. Being able to slow down and take it one step at a time will help me get through each spot as needed.


My core group has a variety of different views and thoughts on how things work and should be handled. They don't typically give me their opinions but they do ask questions about what I would like to see happen and where I want to be in the future.

In conclusion, having people who are trusted around you and some quiet space to work and think through your pain frustration will help make better more informed decisions.


What are you doing to work through your frustration? Do you have trusted advisors around you, and if so who are they? Comment and tag a friend who needs this or one that helps you through this below in the comment section.


Ride Hard and Live Long.


Sincerely,

Rob Hicks




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