To show confidence is strong, and there is a line that can be crossed to arrogance. Have you crossed that line?
Some Back Story
In my younger days I guess I didn’t have a huge amount of confidence, so I’m sure I came
off as arrogant and didn’t even know it.
As I grew up I developed more self-confidence in what I do, and who I am the arrogant I became, or so I'm hoping. If I do come off as arrogant I apologize now, and I’m thinking it might be because I have a large personality.
Arrogance is a toxic behavior that can cause unneeded drama, and problems in the work place, and private lives. Being arrogant can have you walk around with air of being superior than others and have talking down to people and making them feel inferior.
During all my time in customer service confidence has helped close more than one deal. Having the ability to speak with confidence helps as people feel truly towards you and feel like you are directing them in the right direction. Speaking with confidence mixed with truth is a winning combination.
How do I know if I’m Arrogant?
First if you are asking this question you probably aren’t.
Let's take a look at Confidence:
Confidence
noun
the feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
How do you build confidence? Best way to build confidence, at least that I know of, is to repeat actions over and over until you become proficient at that skill or task. As an example if you want to be good at writing, practice writing, and write as often as you can and you'll get better, and more confident in your writing.
Sharing what you're doing with people who are going to be support of what you are trying to do, and will provide words of encouragement, and constructive criticism of your work. If you can have people who will guide you, and work along side you that is even more ideal to help you build confidence. Not have them do the work for you, but have them work along side you, or be available to ask questions of.
Now let's take a look at being Arrogant:
Arrogant
noun
having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities
Once you have confidence it come off as being arrogant, but those who are truly arrogant really bolster themselves up, and put on a big show of their abilities whether it is warranted or not. They make sure everyone knows what they are doing, and how truly amazing they are at it. Sometimes this is even known as narcissistic.
Once you start to become confident in your abilities it can be a slippery slope to down to arrogance. Mind you if you have to boost your abilities by telling people about how great you are, and when it comes to showing you back down it is going to become quite obvious that you're not as good as you claim.
So how do you keep from becoming an arrogant? It's some self-awareness. Keep what you say and how you say it in check. Humility is a good thing to have (we will cover humility in another post), and an understanding that no matter how good you are there is someone out there who could potentially be better than you.
Watch people as you talk to them. If they seem turned off from what you're saying even though they've come to you for advice, or help than you are blowing smoke up their ass, or they figure you are coming off as arrogant in the way you are talking to, and treating them.
It sometimes can be difficult to tell if someone is being arrogant especially if it appears that their actions back up their words. I know this first hand. If you work with someone who seems like they know their stuff, and then one day they are no longer around. That's a time when you start to notice that they were talking up their ability, and they didn't do the job properly because their arrogance kept them from learning form others, or asking questions to learn better.
Do you feel like someone you work with is being arrogant on the sly? Ask them questions about what they are doing, and see if they are correct. In your position have you asked enough questions, or are you feeling confident you know it all, and learned it on your own? Perhaps you need to check in with others.
Let's agree to work on our confidence together, and hold ourselves accountable to make sure we don't slip into arrogance, or just jump right into it.
It's been a pleasure writing this for you as always. If you enjoy reading this give it some love with a like, and a share. Every little bit helps.
Ride Hard, and Live Long.
Sincerely,
Rob Hicks
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